Tag Archives: self indulgence

Dinner and a side of angst

Oh, haven’t written in an age or two.

Went to AC last night for the PACK something dinner. It was yummy, I talked to people and didn’t embarrass myself. I feel so ridiculously awkward in these settings. I can handle it, but I get all flustered and nervous before hand. All the other people are just parents. But still? I guess I’m just nervous that I’ll be too “me”. I mean, I’m loud, very rarely do I stop talking (especially if I’m nervous), I love dorky tv shows, violent foreign cinema, I’m a little evangelical about comic books and I can be intensely literal and scientific. I adore my children, but occasionally want to sell them and overall I think I’m an alright mom. They love me so I guess I must be doing okay.
I’m very comfortable with who I am. I’m just not always sure if it’s all right with everyone around me. I spent so much of my childhood and adolescence trying to be an adult, that now that I’m here? I want to lay back and enjoy the world for a bit. My biggest worry is that I’m just going to stick my foot in my mouth (see above mention of my loquaciousness). I sat next to a lovely couple at dinner who is employed as a preacher. Good to know, didn’t spout off anything ridiculous or drop any f- bombs. I did a little bit later with another set of parents, but they told me I was “funny”, so I’ll take the compliment.
I don’t know. Obviously I over-analyze and get a little too anxious. BUT. I went. and I socialized. And no one asked me to leave and I didn’t swear at anyone important. So I count the evening as a win.

Side note: I’m never sure how I feel about the new Head of School. He seems like he has good ideas, but he never smiles and that weirds me out. I can’t really get a read on him. But damn can he give a talk because every time I hear him speak? I think that he’s the Pied Piper of Allendale and that I just want to follow where he’s going.

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Posted by on March 20, 2013 in General


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