In which I reveal too much

24 Mar

I just started to reply to a post over at Bounce Back when I stopped, realized that I was revealing WAY too much about my sex life to the interwebs.  I think we’re a weird country. On one hand we all run about scantily clad, showing way too much (seriously people) and act like we’re all comfortable about it. On the other hand, a woman wants to nurse her child on a plane and we’re suddenly all about decency and COVER yourself!

I don’t know where I’m going with this other than I think that it’s ridiculous that we’re all terrified to talk about our sexual dysfunctions or God forbid what actually works for us in the bedroom. I try and be expressive with my husband, hope to be honest with my children when they’re older. (Don’t freak out. I fully realize my children have NO interest in my sex life. NOT talking about it with them). I do wish though, that I could be more open about the way that hormones trash your body postpartum. I wish I knew whether other people go through the same crap that I have, where stress and general life kill your libido and then it leads to this downward cycle of never touching each other.

I feel like a string so tightly wound that if you touch me I might snap. This winter’s cavalcade of giving up nursing, selling our house, living with friends, buying our house, moving out and in, not to even mention my job- which has been crazy stressful with inspection after inspection and regular day to day work. It’s just all taking it’s toll. I’m on my medication. Yay! But I don’t know how to pull myself from the clutches of a funk where I’m exhausted and nervous about being touched. I love my husband, I love my family. I just want everything to S–L–O–W down so that I can recover and get back to normal.

I think I’m going to just go listen to Dan Savage and the Mominatrix and maybe they’ll make everything better.


Posted by on March 24, 2010 in craziness, sexuality


5 responses to “In which I reveal too much

  1. Bethany

    March 24, 2010 at 8:26 am

    My youngest just turned 2. I still very rarely want to have sex. Around the time I ovulate is about the only time I want to- try coordinating that. I’m tired and stressed and overwhelmed with life on top of some screwed up hormones. I’m telling you this so you don’t feel alone. And now we shall never speak of my sex life on the internet again 😉

  2. jen brugger

    March 24, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    i went through the same thing…though it didnt help that the kids are 13 months apart. even now being on meds I’m not all that intersted. plus my hubby is a little round around the belly. sex is the last thing on my mind and when it is..i need it right waiting. dont be stressed. things will settle and go back to “normal” in time as willt he hormones. you guys have done and gone through a lot in w few short months. give it time…then go from there. and good for you for wanting to talk openly about sex with your kids. I plan on doing the same thing. just not revealing too much of our lives to them…that would be overload..and for them…gross!

  3. Dani

    March 25, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    I guess I know I married the right man. Brian read my post last night and then just looked over and said “You know I’ll do whatever you need.”
    I know we’ll be fine, are fine. I guess I just struggle with the fact that your not “supposed” to have problems let alone speak about them.
    It’s good to know that other people go through the same things. And I’m not singling out women, I’m sure that men go through the same things but I don’t feel like they struggle as much to separate parent from spouse. For me that becomes much of my problem.

  4. Kellie

    March 25, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    Oh boy….could you and I talk about THIS for HOURS! DAYS! I have much to say. MUCH. I just don’t know if this is the appropriate venue.

    Just know this: I GET IT!

  5. MaryP

    May 4, 2010 at 6:08 am

    It is more of a female problem than a male. No one’s fault, it’s just how it is.

    I get it, totally. I love sex, I love talking about it, I find it fascinating… and yet there have been stretches in my life where, despite my ongoing interest in the subject, I just don’t want to DO it.

    Which sort of stinks for my lovely, supportive, kind and emotionally intelligent husband, whose drive is typically male: 99% consistent.

    This WILL pass. You’ve been through a lot this year. Give yourself time, talk it out with Brian, and take it, together, in baby steps.


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