Advice please!!

30 Sep

Okay does anyone have some advice for dealing with an almost three (OMG!!) year old who is basically giving up on naps?

Jeffrey has not taken a nap for us on either day of the last two weekends. He goes to bed at night pretty easily. We have our moments, but on the whole he’s great in the evening. But during the day has become a battle of wills and I’m not sure who is going to survive.

I try to have a routine. We are not set in stone with time but generally we wake up, eat breakfast, go do something (Saturday he has swimming in the AM and on Sunday he has Little Gym), after we may run errands or come home, then we eat lunch and nap. This is the way it has been basically since he started having a solid schedule at 6 months or so.
We have transitioned him from a crib into a big boy bed in the past few weeks. And I must admit that we’re still waiting for the actual bed to get here. Currently he’s on a big boy mattress on the floor. Again, nighttime has been a breeze. He doesn’t get out of bed, he calls for us if he needs something, he listens to our rules. We have always been very strict about bedtime and naps. No messing around, I don’t care if you lay there and sing for an hour as long as you are in bed with the lights out.

This weekend. I’ve been trying to stick to our normal routine. I take him up to his room, I have blankets on the windows so it’s fairly dark, I tuck him in bed, give him all his stuffed animals and we read a book. Then I give him a kiss, turn out the light, close the door and go downstairs. On Saturday I broke the baby gate trying to put it on his doorway because I was so frustrated and annoyed that he wouldn’t stay in his room. He just gets up and turns on the light, opens the door and flits about the upstairs. Once I gated him in, he threw all his animals outside and then stood there and cried that he couldn’t reach them. I try to be firm, I try to be patient but what do you do when he yells plaintively for a tissue because he has snot everywhere? How do you not bring him a tissue? Saturday and Sunday I refused to give in. I told him he didn’t have to sleep, he could read or play quietly in his room but that the lights needed to be off and he needed to be in the actual bed. I forced him to stay in that room for at least an hour and a half possibly longer because it became a battle I wasn’t willing to lose.

And I lost. Sunday after two hours of him screaming (picture the red face, snot streaming down his face as he calls Mama for two hours). After two hours, I gave in and let him come out. I sat on the couch and cried. At this point I was exhausted and frustrated and just not knowing what to do.

So. Vast internet of helpful people? Some advice? I don’t know where to go from here. I just know that the child is tired and while he fights naps at daycare as well, he still sleeps 4 out of 5 days. What the heck am I doing wrong?


Posted by on September 30, 2008 in Help!, Jeffrey, parenting


3 responses to “Advice please!!

  1. Jen Brugger

    September 30, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Beanie has started this routine with bedtime. She used to go down without an issue, now she goes in ans screams. There have been a few naps on weekends that she won;t go down for. I gave in. I watch for the signs and if she’s tired, I put her down, if not, then I let her play, but then I put her down earlier ( instead of 9pm she goes down at 8pm)
    A few children can make it through a day without a snooze as early as 2, but most ease up on the afternoon Z’s around age 3 or 4. If your child isn’t sleepy at nap time for several days in a row, wakes up early in the morning, or takes a long time to go to sleep at night, then she’s probably ready to be weaned from her nap. Let her play quietly instead.

    I hope this helps both of you. Good Luck

  2. Dani

    October 1, 2008 at 8:54 am

    We try the same. If he doesn’t take a nap he goes to bed at 7 instead of 8. I’m not so concerned that he actually sleep, although he is clearly tired (rubbing his eyes and yawning).
    I’d be happy if he just had some “quiet time” in his room. The issue is that he freaks out and won’t stay there. This weekend, he literally screamed for me for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. I just know it’s driving me crazy.

  3. Jenna Meaker

    October 1, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    I don’t know what to tell ya, so i’m not sure why I’m commenting. I guess I just wanted to say that I feel like that a lot, and whatever you decide to do, it should feel right to you, and whatever happens, he’ll be fine.

    If I were in your position, based on the literature and his behavior, I might consider giving up the naps. You could encourage him to do something quiet and restful instead of napping, like, I dunno…… coloring, tv, long drive in the car.

    Or officially replace his “nap in bed” with “quiet time in his room” like my brother-in-law did. Although it sounds like you already tried that.

    Good luck and do what feels right! *hugs*


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