To counsel or not to counsel?

20 Aug

I’m in an odd place right now. I’m not flying off the handle but I’m not feeling “like I should” either. I’m wondering if I should go back to seeing a counselor again. I haven’t actually seen anyone since a particularly disastrous affair the summer post college. So it’s been eight years. I don’t know if I’m just depressed or what. I’m just sorta sucking everything inward and refusing to deal. This works well with Jeffrey but not so much with all other areas of life.

I’m not taking any meds since I’m pregnant and I’m not so bad that I think I should try playing around with new ones. God knows it took me long enough to find ones that work that I don’t want to spend the next year trying to find something that has acceptable side effects that you can also be pregnant and nursing with.

So, I don’t know. I just feel like I’m staring at a crossroads and I don’t know what direction to take. On one hand, I’ve been doing pretty well the past few years so why mess with it. On the other, while I’ve been doing well, I’ve also had some pretty severe bad patches. I needed to up my medication after we had Jeffrey and lets just say my stress level doesn’t look like it’s going down anytime soon.

I think I need a vacation. Somewhere where I can bury my head in the sand for a little bit and just let everything flow. Work is just ridiculous right now. My supervisor quit, we have a tech that moved into  his position but (due to hospital politics) it doesn’t seem like we’re going to be able to start hiring someone until December/January. That means we’re down a person in the lab that was already busting at the seams with work. Also, I’m supposed to be training the next person and really who knows what is going to happen with this pregnancy. I may very well be hanging in until April but who knows? And it’s upping the tension in the whole lab. Add in the floors, regular family crap and just daily life and I really kinda want to hide for a little bit.

Anyway. Maybe I should go back to a counselor? How do I even find one? Brian isn’t a big fan of counseling and the time and cost it incurs. I’m not sure. I just want to feel happy for a bit. I’m a big fan of happy and it just seems like it’s been harder and harder to eake out.


Posted by on August 20, 2008 in depression, Help!, work


8 responses to “To counsel or not to counsel?

  1. Kellie

    August 20, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Counsel. That’s my vote. It can’t hurt. If you feel you’re at that point, DO IT!! Please!! Search for therapists through your county’s health department website or their mental health site. With insurance, the cost of it shouldn’t be too much and the time? Really? It won’t be THAT much time.

    Sorry everything is so stressful and busy at work–that can’t be easy for you.

    Let me know if you need anything.

  2. nkartist06

    August 20, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    It is hard for me to give you a stright answer, but I feel that I should give you my opinion on the matter.

    Go somewhere safe, somewhere you feel comfortable and you have someone to call on if you need them.

    Once in your safe environment, write down the small things that bother you and why you think they do. Look for the root cause of your stress. From there you should know wether or not you can work things out on your own or if you need someone to consult with.

    As for cost, find out what aid you are entitled to, health insurance, if your job has anything available. Look arouund for someone that is cost effective and can help you.

    Most of the work is finding out what you need, not actually getting what you need.


  3. Bonnie Malek

    August 21, 2008 at 10:22 am

    I’m a big fan of counseling due to personal experience. I’m sure the hospital where you work has resources you can take advantage of – use everything available to help you get through this. What’s a little money and time if the result is you are a better, happier person. Love to you, Brian and Jeffrey.


  4. Jen Brugger and Victoria

    August 21, 2008 at 4:24 pm

    talk with your insurance company and see if there is someone that is on your plan. Mom goes to see one through the hospital. She gets a good deal as they are interns, though she has to change every year when their term is up, but it helps her deal with a lot of crap.

    You need to do what is best for you to help you keep your sanity. With one kid and another one all the way, the things going on at work and no place to escape at home, you need some one to talk to that can help you walk through all the stress and get a handle on it so you don’t expolde. As always, if you need someone to unload on, call…anytime. I mean that. If you need a small vacation, you are always welcomed down here. You could some down for a 3-4 day weekend and leave Jeffrey with Brian or bring him down…I would be more than happy to play with him and Beanie would have someone her age to play with.

    Hang in there…it will get better.

  5. nkartist06

    August 21, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    I have been paying attention to the comments on this post, you if nothing else need a blog that none of your friends or family know of. Blogging is only a useful tool if you are not fearing theopinion of those that read it. having family and friends know your iner most thoughts is dangerous at best. To be true to yourself and really open up you need to feel safe.

    There is a reason that counsolers have an oath of confidentaility. amonousity is a gift to be yourself and care not what others think.


  6. Bonnie Malek

    August 22, 2008 at 10:01 am

    I don’t agree that having your family and friends know your inner most thoughts is dangerous – if you can’t rely on the people closest to you to help you through the rough times you have another issue to add to the list. You can have the confidentiality of a counselor while still leaning on your friends and family. A close support system is so important.

  7. Dani

    August 22, 2008 at 10:20 am

    I do agree that there are things that I don’t talk about on the blog (granted not very much) because I know that family and friends read.
    However, I enjoy a close relationship with family and friends because I do share a lot of my fears and concerns (as well as good stuff as well). I’m a firm believer that people can’t help fix things if they don’t know what the problems are.

    As for what my problems are? I’ve chosen not to speak specifically to them because I’m not sure I’m ready to lay it all out on the table. I went to counseling all throughout college and found that it really helped. I also know that it was really difficult though. Sometimes even though the end goal is positive, the journey to get there is a little too scary.

    So I’m still on the fence. I think I should go talk to someone at least while I’m pregnant and not on any medication. Perhaps it would help alleviate some of the hormonal factor of everything. I don’t know I’m always such a huge advocate for anyone else to try counseling, but I’m a chicken when it comes to myself. 🙂

  8. nkartist06

    August 22, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    All points prior aside,

    depending on how you react with a counselor, there are more options on the table. Advice from all other sources will not come with a degree and animosity is harder to maintain. You are best to choose what you feel most comfortable with. A blog that may or may not have any of the written blogs posted (self reference, with a password.) Talking to someone in a similar situation, i.g. a pregnant women (her story will be different but you may find things similar and less to worry about. A discussion group, an older figure.

    Counseling is only useful if you can be open to discussing and willing to review and possible change parts of yourself.



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