So here is the big issue of the week. It’s kinda annoying/angering/upsetting me and I feel like I just want to get it off my chest. This will probably get me in trouble but frankly I don’t really care.
A few weeks/months ago we talked to Brian’s parents about taking Jeffrey for a week in the summer. We asked for several reasons.
1) He only gets to see his grandparents a few times a year and then (usually) only when all of the other kids are around. There are six other grandkids and I worry that he never actually gets to see them on his own.
2) Our daycare closes for one week in the summer to repaint and do staff development and we have to shuffle him from friends, take days off, or pay someone else to watch him for the week. So this would really help us out if they could take him for us.
3) We are having our hardwoods refinished this summer and we basically need to move out of the house for a week and it would be incredibly helpful to not have to worry about Jeffrey being underfoot and exposed to fumes while this happens.
4) Lastly, we never ask for anything and it would be nice if they could help us out.
Anyway, they agreed to take him. They said they’d mark it off their calendar and everything was great. Until last week.
Last week we got the phone call that Brian’s mom is “done with chasing around little ones and changing diapers.” and that they’d be glad to take him for a day or two but she’s just getting too old for an entire week.
WTF! Brian’s mom is 15 years younger than my mom. She walked the three day walk for breast cancer last year and came in 1ST place! They are taking their third? scuba diving trip for the year. Tell me you don’t want to see him but don’t give me this crap that you’re tired. And I’d love to bring him out for a day or two but we live four and a half hours away. I can’t afford the gas or the time to do that.
I just feel like we never ask them for anything and when we do they drop the ball. I grew up with family members that ignored me and that didn’t want to spend time with me and I grew up resenting them. I don’t want this to happen to Jeffrey. I want him to love his grandparents (both sets) and I want them to see what an awesome little guy he is. And you just don’t get that one or two weekends every year. I just feel like he’s missing out on them and even worse that they’re missing out on him.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Brian’s parents. But I just feel like we’re the black sheep or the kids that just get forgotten. I don’t know if it’s because their family is such a blended family or because we’re out here on our own, or what but I hate that we have to depend on my family for everything. To me family are the people you lean on when no one else is around and I just can’t trust his family to be there for us.
I don’t know. Someone will probably read this and get angry with me but I kinda don’t care. I’m mad and upset at the same time. I just want them to love my son. And to me that means more than some gifts twice a year and saying that he’s doing great. It means showing him that you love him by caring enough to spend some time with him. If you don’t want to take him? fine but then how about you try and come out to visit him. I know I’m biased but he is the most spectacular little boy on the planet and it bothers me that they can’t see it.
I’m not alone in these feelings either. Brian has been trying to be gracious on the phone with his parents but it’s really upsetting him as well. I don’t know how we resolve this other than venting and then bucking up and dealing with what we’ve been given. We don’t want to start some big family fight but we don’t really know how to make it better either.
I have read all the comments. I appreciate everyone’s opinions. I am sorry if I offended anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings, it was not my intention. I wanted only to express my feelings because I was very upset and didn’t feel like I had a place to go with them. The end deal is just that I want my kid to love all of his grandparents and I feel the best way for him to do that is to spend time with them. At any rate, I’m turning off comments for this post. Should anyone have more to say, feel free to email or give me a call. I’ll be happy to discuss it further.