One of those days

14 Sep

Do you ever have one of those days where you’re in a great mood and all of the sudden it shifts?

Today is one of those days. Nothing happened. No horrible tragedy or even minor annoyance. It just seems like someone deflated my balloon. I’m pushing my exterior to be happy and sociable, but I can feel the pin pricks of tears building. I don’t understand me. Why can’t I just be happy? Why must it always be such a struggle to maintain a normal set of emotions?

I know my medication helps. I am not at vast extremes like I used to be. I can be a fun person to be around and I don’t collapse into sobs or stop talking to people for weeks at a time. But sometimes, I just want to withdraw for a few hours or a few days and I know that these thoughts are the start of something unhealthy and I have to push back against them. 

A few weeks ago, I had this thought that I could stop taking my meds because I felt like I was doing so well. Thankfully my inner voice slapped me upside the head and reminded me that the meds are the reason why I’m doing well. I guess it’s good that I know my warning signs and that I try and take heed. Also I have Brian, who just loves me and Liane, who totally “gets” depression and what it means to vacillate from one emotion to the next. I just wish that it would go away and not come back.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.


Posted by on September 14, 2007 in depression


4 responses to “One of those days

  1. Kelly M

    September 14, 2007 at 6:17 pm

    I totally understand how you feel..I’ve been like this all week! One minute I’m happy go lucky and the next completely miserable on the verge of tears!! I hope you cheer up and tomorrow is a better day *HUGS*

  2. Kellie

    September 14, 2007 at 10:08 pm

    I’ve had MANY of those days!! MANY!!

    I’m sorry it’s such a struggle for you….I wish I could make it all go away!!

    Big hugs, girly!! You know how to reach me if you need to talk/vent/cry….whatever.

  3. happyworkingmom

    September 18, 2007 at 8:22 am

    I know exactly how you feel! I have moments where everything is fine, and then the next I just want to go in a room and cry, for no reason at all. I hope you’re doing better!

  4. Jen Brugger and Victoria

    September 18, 2007 at 8:11 pm

    I have days like those. I take a hot bath and read a book and relax or watch a movie that I know I will cry just to get the release…then I feel better and more balanced.

    Take a breath, go for a walk or call someone and just tell them to talk to you…regardless of what they talk about…just so you have someone to listen to, especially if Brian isn’t around.

    Wish I were there to help you! Miss you guys…alot.


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