Conundrum: The Finale

11 May

Um yeah, did I forget to finish this saga? So sorry to have dragged this out for so long. The weather is just drawing me outside and away from the computer. Not to mention the busyness.

Alright so when last we saw our intrepid heroine she was sucking it up, watching her baby in the NICU and trying to get her head around this new perception of parenting. Fast forward 6-8 weeks, when I had my first post partum appointment with my OB. I made Brian go with me, I wanted to be mean and I knew I couldn’t do it without him by my side.

We talked to Dr. Lim. She acknowledged that some major mistakes were made. That had she been in town, I would have been treated very differently. The nurse, remember the one who told me I wasn’t having contractions and “we’ll see you in two weeks”? Dr. Lim promised that she would be dealt with.  She couldn’t apologize (makes it easier for us to sue them if they acknowledge wrongdoing), but she did everything but. In essence she said all the right things. She thanked us for coming in to talk with them and not just switching practices. Told us that they can’t fix the problems if they never hear about them. I respect her. I like her. I really wish she had been in town.

She also said that if we decided to have another pregnancy with their office that she doesn’t want me to cycle through the docs. She wants me to only see her. I am so down with that. There were 42 people in my delivery room. 42!? I have no clue who delivered my child. What matters to me is who is there on the lead up. She also said she hopes that we stay with the practice. That next time I will be high risk from the get go and that they certainly don’t want to make any of the same mistakes.

So, there it is. I  guess after going through it all, I think maybe I want to stay with Oona. I mean they’ll be afraid to fuck up again. right? Plus I’m worried if we go elsewhere that it’ll all just be paperwork and history and they won’t take me as seriously if I think something is wrong. Next time I need to be more of an advocate for myself because if I learned anything from all this, it was to trust myself and my body.

Several friends and family members have approached us about suing the practice or NY Presby or wherever. I’m not there. Jeffrey is doing well and by the time you finish litigation he’d be like 14. I don’t like the litigious nature of our society and (being someone who works in healthcare) I am very aware that we are human beings and as such we make mistakes. Occasionally even big mistakes. As a scientist, I trust my doctors and the science they yield but I also understand the lying beneath the lab coat is a person. If Jeffrey needed serious help for the rest of his life and someone knowingly misinformed us or caused him harm, I would go after them with everything I have. Luckily, he’s just a smidge behind and he’s shaping up to be a happy healthy little boy.

So here the saga ends. Please lend me your advice. I think I may have made up my mind but it’s always helpful to gain some feedback. Thanks for listening.


Posted by on May 11, 2007 in General, Help!


4 responses to “Conundrum: The Finale

  1. Kellie

    May 11, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    I agree with you 110%. Everyone is sue happy and you have several valid points. The most important being Jeffrey is happy and healthy and developing just fine.

    I also agree with your decision to stay with the practice. Sounds like your doc will be keeping an eagle eye on you the next time.

    If you feel the decision is right in your gut, than go with it. 🙂

  2. Rachel

    May 16, 2007 at 12:45 pm

    I think that staying in the practice is a good decision. They know what happened before and it was not your doctor that made the mistakes and it sounds like they will be making an extra effort with you in your next pregnancy. When you do decide to have another child, and things still don’t seem up to your standards, there is no harm in moving to another practice in the middle of a pregnancy.

  3. Dani

    May 16, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    That’s a good thought. It never occurred to me that I could move in the middle of a pregnancy but why not? Thanks!

  4. laura

    May 23, 2007 at 9:42 am

    we received similar advice after our 2nd born’s picu experience. frankly given all the potentials, including her death after being hit by a fast moving 6 ton truck, we were grateful that she was able to walk away with so little damage. the big picture determined our decision. i don’t even want to imagine any other alternative.
    good luck with your choice.


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