21 Apr

An open letter to pie:

Seriously, pie. Raspberry or blackberry or even apple if it doesn’t have that crumbly crap on top.

Delicious pie, the kind with real chunks of berries or fruit and very little filling.

Oh. My. God.

You tempt my senses and all of my control. I see you and I must have you.

Why must you be so delicious and fruit filled? Why must you be so inexpensive and near the front of the store?

I simply can’t control myself when you are nearby. It takes all that I have to wait until I am at home before ripping off your wrapping and tasting your forbidden fruit.

Panting, I wait for the first delicious wave of taste to hit my mouth, I eagerly anticipate the sweetness that you give.

At times I am left gasping for air as I look down and see that you are no more.

Spent, I will lie bloated on my couch and wait for the next temptation to come along.

Dearest pie, I love you so.


Posted by on April 21, 2007 in General, satire


3 responses to “Pie

  1. Brian Meehan

    April 21, 2007 at 10:23 am

    Wow. I seriously feel less than useful now.

  2. Kurt

    April 21, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    Whew! I’m a little out of breath after this.

  3. Kellie

    April 22, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    Poor Brian!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Girly, I love me an ode to pie. Pie. Cake. Same damn thing ๐Ÿ™‚


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