182 ?!

27 Feb

So today I was listening to Wease on the radio and they were talking about a poll done about married couples. It stated that married couples have an average of 182 arguments per year, each argument lasts for approximately 25 minutes with 30 minutes of sulking afterward. It also gave the top 20 reasons why couples fight. I thought it would be fun to go through them and see how Brian and I match up.

For starters I don’t think we fight that often or at least not for 25 minutes per time. We’re more like a five to ten minute spat or throwing verbal barbs at one another followed by sulking and being passive aggressive. When we get into a large argument which is only I’d say maybe two or three times a year, we usually fight for about ten minutes and then we sit and discuss what our issues are and what we can do to resolve them. A lot of times, I personally just need Brian to hear what I’m angry about and let me talk it out. In general, I think we’re pretty happy or we let it go because we love one another and it’s not worth a disagreement. How freaking boring are we?

So what do we argue about? Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that we will have the same four arguments for the rest of our lives over and over and OVER again. It’s simply our personalities and that fact that our core doesn’t change. We try our best for each other and that’s what has to count. According to onepoll, that did the survey, these are the things we’re most likely to argue about.

1. Domestic chores- Okay, I guess we bicker occasionally about them. Brian is more of a neat freak while I am more into deep cleaning the house. I occasionally start a huge cleaning extravaganza only to become exhausted and quit when things look their worst.

2. Not listening to each other- Yeah so I say a lot of things that he never seems to recall, but I don’t think we’ve ever argued about it.

3. Lack of sex- After the baby we weren’t exactly bunnies, but this has never been a huge issue. (Thank God!)

4. Lack of money- I complain that we have no money now, but it has an endpoint and we make do.

5. What to watch on TV / use of the remote control- Um… no, we have never fought bout this. We have argued about how the buttons should be programmed or about Brian messing with Myth (our dvr system) hours before a show I want.

6. The children / parenting- Not yet. I’m sure we will at some point. Thus far we’ve been on the same page.

7. Nagging- Maybe Brian thinks I nag, but we’ve never had a fight about it.

8. The mother in law- Umm, we like our parents. Don’t have any major problems with the fam.

9. Driving the car / map reading- Uh, I wish that I had the driver’s ed brake on the passenger side floor occasionally. But I feel that it is rude to yell at the person in control a one ton piece of machinery. It can get you hurt. We do bitch about one another about each others driving but who doesn’t.

10. What is for dinner- Yeah, this would be one of our arguments. I want to eat out, Brian wants to eat in. I don’t want to cook because the fire box in the kitchen is evil AND may have a gremlin living in it (you never know). He thinks we should spend time together gorging, I like Sal’s Birdland. Times are tough all around.

11. Time spent at work- This used to be a problem. When Brian worked at Kodak he used to travel a lot and was always late as his office at night. I used to get really angry. More for getting home late than anything else.

12. Being ignored- This isn’t really a problem in our house. We’re both a little too loud and obnoxious to be ignored.

13. Time spent on the computer- Yeah, this could be a good one. Brian is ALWAYS on the computer but he is a computer geek, so it’s part of his job. Lately though it’s been me (blogging) on the laptop. Who knew we’d switch places.

14. Leaving clothes lying around- Brian snipes at me about this all the time. I sorta explode out of clothing at about 8pm. As happy as I am to be back in regular bras, they’re still not the height of comfort. I wouldn’t say we fight about it but we pick at each other about it.

15. Spending too much money- About once a month Brian decides that we’re destitute and freaks out. She who does the budget is always tweaked about money but I try to stay calm about it. We usually need to have a discussion and talk it out.

16. Who does the most- We really share most tasks in our household and life. I wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t willing to do his share.

17. Snoring- So I know that I snored while I was pregnant. I hope I don’t know because it drives me crazy! However I wouldn’t fight about it because its not someone’s fault. You do need to breath while your sleeping.

18. Farting- Do people seriously argue about this? Seriously.

19. Decorating- Well the one and only time I thought we would divorce it was over painting our basement and when we painted the upstairs bedroom. So basically, it’s not a problem of what to decorate with. Bri usually trusts my instincts with the house. The act of doing the decorating may however kill us in the end.

20. Wasting food- Who are these people? No we don’t fight about wasting food. That’s just stupid.

So, I think the list was a little funny. I can’t imagine having a real fight over snoring but ya know I’m not all people. Brian and I will forever argue about time management, that I feel second to the ambulance/work, that I’m selfish and being productive (or a lack of productivity) after work. We also agree that a continuing source of “intense discussion” will be talking to Brian on the phone. Brian gets in a zone when he is working and I will call him. He is annoyed that he’s being interrupted and I’m annoyed because he answers gruffly. It makes me feel unloved and he feels his train of thought derail. I’m sure we’ll survive.

So what do you and your significant other fight about? How does the list compare for you? I thought it was an interesting survey and good fodder to blog about.


Posted by on February 27, 2007 in Brian, General


8 responses to “182 ?!

  1. Kurt

    February 27, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    Definitely good fodder for blogging. But it’s late and I’ll have to pick this up tomorrow morning…

  2. Sue

    February 27, 2007 at 11:31 pm

    The parenting thing is HUGE here.
    It didn’t start until Kelly was old enough to make her desires known clearly, ohhhh say, maybe a year old? Daddy is the softie, Mommy is the bad guy. To an EXTREME.
    Bedtime is the biggest war, it always has been. It comes easily to Brian to decide that they should stay up later than I have requested, since he has been at work all day and feels that he needs his “quality time” (i.e. talking on the phone and watching tv until bedtime, THEN wanting to cuddle) when the children should be put in bed.
    This presents a problem on school mornings, when I must wake Kelly early, and of course Brian is at work an doesn’t have to deal with her nastiness.
    Jeffrey is still very little. We will all be waiting with baited breath to see which of you becomes the “party parent” and who is deemed the evil demon.
    May the best (or worst) parent win!

  3. Happy Working Mom

    February 28, 2007 at 8:27 am

    Hmmmm, what do we fight about? A lot of stuff! Not in a bad way, we are so happy with each other. But we are both very strong-willed and stubborn! We probably do have 182 fights per year (wait, that’s 1 every 2. something days, ok, we definitely don’t fight that much) and our fights can last for days, again, due to us being stubborn. What we fight about most is probably non-appreciation…on both sides. We kind of take each other for granted and that sucks! Thankfully the big issues we’re pretty OK on. Oh wait, we do fight about sex – we have differing opinions about how much is normal ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Kellie

    February 28, 2007 at 8:12 pm

    We certainly have bitchy moments. He’s not a fighter. I am. And, when he refuses to get all fired up, it makes me more mad ๐Ÿ™‚ We are good, though, at discussing the problem and moving on.

  5. Dani

    February 28, 2007 at 9:25 pm

    Kurt- Okay, I’m waiting, what does the Higgins household discuss vehemently? Probably something concerning subs ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sue- I think I’m destined to be the bad guy while Brian is the party parent. Although, I have a feeling that Jeffrey is going to be able to work me a lot more than dad.

    Happy Working Mom- We definitely do the non-appreciation thing. It’s so easy to take your partner for granted. I think we take our frustrations out on one another just because we can’t take them out on the people we’re really angry at.

    Kellie- We also do this. I am definitely a fighter (and good at making up). ๐Ÿ™‚ Brian doesn’t fight, he only really gets into it when I goad him into it. He’s better at passive agressive arguing.

  6. Rachel

    March 2, 2007 at 12:43 pm

    We don’t fight about quite that much anymore. We still have arguements here and there, but we pick our battles. We disagree on the kids eating. I say, you don’t get any dessert unless you eat all your dinner and he will let his daughter eat just a little bit and still get candy or something. I am planning on discussing this with him later. We have to do the same with all the kids. My daughter knows that unless she eats it all she won’t get anything and so…she does. His daughter know she still will, hence, she won’t eat.

    That whole driving thing! Ha, I wish I had that brake too, lol. I’m getting better and better at it though. We occasionally argue about money. Mostly about buying something he wants but we really don’t need or have the money for.

  7. Dating Dummy

    March 2, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    Wow, I never realized how much of that list could apply to most couples. I didn’t think I could come up with five, but you came up with 20 – definitely worth thinking about!

    btw, how’d you do with the workouts? Let me know at the roll call.

  8. Kurt

    March 4, 2007 at 8:06 am

    Oops. Forgot to follow up…

    Um, we get into it over misunderstandings/miscommunication. I frequently don’t understand something she says (she’ll say it backwards or use too many pronouns (leaving wondering WHO? and WHAT?) and I’ll get bent about that. I generally don’t fight back but I DO push buttons. She pushes as well and it tends to escalate like a hot air balloon in Times Square (out-of-place, and prone to snag on lots of stuff).


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