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XXX Part I

21 Feb

Disclaimer: Recently several topics pertaining to sex and other such matters have been bandied about. I thought that I might write about my thoughts and get some feedback from everyone here. If this offends you sorry but it’s my blog. I’ve decided to write it in several parts so that it can be a continuing dialogue.

So we’ll start with the easist topic. What the heck do you call sexual anatomy to your kids? Is it a hoo haw, a penis, what?

Brian and I have kinda talked about this and I think we’re on the same page. I want to teach our child the proper names for anatomy. Just because I don’t want to have a fifteen year old that says hoohaw or is offended by the word. This topic came for me recently because I heard of a place in Florida that was showing the play The Vagina Monologues. The play is typically shown on valentines day as part of V-Day. V-Day is a movement to stop violence against women. I haven’t actually seen the play but I had heard of it; and I intend on seeing it at some time. Anyway, the point is that this place in FL was showing the play. A woman and her daughter drove past the marquee and were offended by the word vagina. So they called the Atlantic Theatre and they changed the marquee to read “The Hoohaa Monologues.” This is so stupid to me! This led to several conversations about what to tell your children. We are obviously not close to this discussion with Jeffrey but I’d like to think we could come up with something better than hoohaw.

It seems so easy to say that we’ll just give him the correct names and that’s that. But of course it’s never that easy. Sex messes everything up and makes it uncomfortable or inflammatory. I want to teach Jeffrey that we are normal sexual beings. That, it’s not the world that you see on tv but it’s not a bland whitebread world either.  I don’t know, am I making too much of this? What do you all tell your kids or want to explain to your kids. I’d appreciate any comments or thoughts that you have.

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8 Comments

Posted by on February 21, 2007 in General, sexuality

 

8 responses to “XXX Part I

  1. Kurt

    February 21, 2007 at 9:17 pm

    I think our culture in America perpetuates this problem of dealing with issues of sex publicly. Violence and death are fine for network TV, but heaven forbid a boobie makes it on the tube!

    Now I don’t have kids and wouldn’t want to foist my opinion on those who do, but our culter seems to damand an awkward dance between being totally honest and fibbing a little to ‘protect’ the young ones from themselves when they’re at school talking about what they just learned.

    Tough call. I think each family needs to make their own choices. I know you guys are pretty forward thinking and will probably lean towards ‘not holding back’ on the facts, while also warning Jeffrey that his peers may not be quite at the same point in maturity.

    The Hoohaa Monologues? Honestly? I would be embarrassed to live in a community as narrow minded as that.

     
  2. Lisa Stein

    February 22, 2007 at 9:26 am

    When Cruchelle was little, I think she came up with her own name for it,’Mowmow’. She is now seventeen and certainly does not go around and call her crotch ‘Mowmow’ anymore! I think easy words like peepee or whatever are good for now. Besides by 5th grade I think, they do get some health/sex education(We already had “the talk”). If you end up using different names just be honest about the new ‘grown up” term they now know. No harm, no fowl. As a parent, you go with your gut. Besides, I have never heard a grown adult only know the word peepee and not penis!

    The lady in Florida and the town for that matter, way over reacted and I feel sorry for the little girl and other children in that town. If you can not be honest about words or the nature of sexuality,ufortunatly, your child could end up getting sex advice from their friends on the school bus and not the right advice from a parent if the parent is too ashamed or offended to talk about it.

     
  3. Kellie

    February 22, 2007 at 9:40 am

    Interesting topic. I can’t believe someone would be offended by the title of the play being displayed. I’d be mroe embarrased if I lived in that town and saw “The HooHaw Monologues” being displayed.

    I know that I want Morgan to know the correct terms for body parts. My nephew called his boy part a “tail” for a while. Now, he calls it what it is (he’s 4). My sister sees no harm in it and neither do I. I think varied names for our parts is fine…especially given that most parents refer to them by a variation of what they really are.

    I think the decision should be up to the family and other families need to respect that.

    And, I’m shutting up now as I’m rambling on about stuff and making no sense.

     
  4. Rachel

    February 23, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    Why the word Vagina would offend anyone, especially a woman, is beyond me! It’s a freakin medical term!

    Anyway, I wish I could give you some advice. Right now I just refer to everything as “bottom”. My kids are 6,3 and 1, so…

    What I will tell them as they grow, hell, I don’t know. I, like you, want to be sure they are educated and understand that we are all sexual beings and it is not something to be ashamed of, but also I want them to know that it is not something to take lightly.

     
  5. MaryP

    February 25, 2007 at 8:10 am

    I always gave my kids the proper terms for things. By the time they were speaking clearly, they knew they had a penis and testicles or labia. (I gave the girls the word ‘vagina’ when they actually found it. The outside stuff is not the vagina.) Why give them cutesy-poo baby names for these parts? Names which we’ll only have to change later?

    If mom and dad don’t go all weird and awkward about it, the child will be natural and matter-of-fact about it. To little ones, these parts are no more significant than any other body part. Why make them so before they’re ready for the more detailed info?

    If you’re interested, I blogged about this here.

     
  6. Dani

    February 25, 2007 at 11:10 pm

    Thanks everyone for the comments.

    We’re probably going to be straightforward with Jeffrey, simply because I can’t imagine either of us being any other way. However it is the decision of each individual family. I just think as a society we should be less squeamish about sex.

    Anyone interested should definitely read Mary’s post. It is a well thought out (much better written) post and well worth reading. Thanks for the link!

     
  7. Sue

    February 26, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    I’m wondering why anyone would title a show with ANY body part in it, because it just doesn’t seem like something that would tend to draw a crowd. Imagine, “The Armpit Chronicles.” Or better, “The Penis Chronicles.” Just, eeewww. Offensive? I dunno. Just not ATTRACTIVE, unless you’re looking for porn.
    My girls know what their vagina is, but they prefer to call it a “coochie.” I’m sure they won’t when they are 16, but it just sounds better coming from a little girl to all of us. If they were boys, I think “penis” would work just fine. (Yeah, double standard, I know.) For some reason, the word “vagina” has always seemed icky to me.

     
  8. Liane WElsh

    February 27, 2007 at 10:58 pm

    Ok sorry I am trying to catch up. Been out of town helping with the special Olympics. Yes helping not competing. My friend who has 3 year old twins (boy and girl)she taught them the proper terms vagina and penis. Which they both decided to tell me. New words new person to tell. Well except that their dad taught them to say wang and when I had Jeffery there(yes your Jeffery I am the nanny) the little girl told me he had a wang as I was changing him. It was very funny but of course traumatic for the mother. I guess no matter how old or young we are there will always be sopme silly term used. I guess society should just buck up and deal with both the penis and the vagina. they are never going away.

     

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