We have an ASHI inspection coming up (pick a day, any day between Aug 15th and Oct 15th) which is incredibly important and I have SO MUCH to do for it and not nearly enough time or energy. We have this stupid mock inspection to get us ready for the NY state inspection in early 2012. I wouldn’t think it stupid if we weren’t having an ACTUAL inspection during the same time period. Plus it takes me about 5-6 hours to get everything together for the mock one and it’s really time better spent elsewhere.

I’ve got some special projects lined up that are gathering dust because I just can’t take a moment to look at them.

We’re supposed to be replacing our computer system sometime in the next couple months and … I am so terrified of it. The new system will be fabulous but completely different than everything have now. And right now our workflow is janky because of the ridiculous system we have now. I’m super excited for the new one but the growing pains are not something we can really afford to have right now.

We’re interviewing but haven’t hired anyone yet. Which is fine because I’m a little terrified of how to add training a new person to the list of crap to do.

End on the fact that we’re all still on call and we’ve been booming lately and that regular everyday actual work has to get out? Plus when I go home I have to be wife and mom?

Means that I’m really stressed. I hate that I look into my crystal ball and see no breaks coming. At all. I can’t take any vacation during the ASHI time period because they need me for the inspection. I’m on call at Thanksgiving and no one knows who will be on for Christmas as it was the responsibility of the person let go. So I’m looking at you 2012. You are apparently the next time that I can consider slowing down and taking a break.

That kinda makes me want to jump off a roof. I had pinned so much hope on things calming down once Brian started at Allendale. Then my job had to go and get all crazy.

Black Swan: Wow! I loved this movie. The psychological and sometimes physical breakdown of Natalie Portman in this movie is astounding. The movie is all her and she shines in her transformation from frigid white swan to the sexy intense black swan. I love how you are left wondering at the end, what was real and what was a composition of her mind. The movie is a brilliant mind fuck and I look forward to a rewatch so that I might catch all the little intricacies of her descent.
The film was directed by Darren Aronofsky, whom I adore. I love the way he composes his shots. The way he lingers on things a little longer than is comfortable. I’m a huge fan of his prior films and I am ecstatic that the success of this film (Budget $13M, Worldwide gross $326M) will give him license to make whatever he wants and the money to back it up. I fell in love with his filmmaking when I watched Requiem for a Dream. Another intense, uncomfortable, screw with your head sort of movie. He’s a fabulous director that chooses intricate and interesting projects. I cannot wait to see what he comes up with next.

Robocop: 1987 classic. How can you not love this movie? Brian and I thought it would be a fun rewatch and for me, it pretty much holds up. I loved realizing that the dad from That 70′s show is the villain. I’m not sure if it’s actually a good movie or if it’s just nostalgia talking, but I really enjoy this flick. Also, there are all kinds of conflicting info about a possible reboot coming soon and a statue in Detroit.(Paid for by the Internet!!) It was fun and I’m not ashamed of my love for it.

Last of the Living: This movie was horrible. Actually we only sat through about 20 minutes before giving up. Three loser guys sitting around their apartment in a zombie apocalypse world. Amazingly electricity and water are still on. The action was awful. I know it was low budget but even I couldn’t get behind it. Ugh.

28 Weeks Later: The sequel to 28 Days Later. The American military has come into Britain 28 weeks after the Rage virus destroyed the country. All of the infected are dead and they are attempting to clean up and start anew. Of course nothing goes according to plan and the virus is once again unleashed on the populace that has returned. The tension is high, the action fast and intense and I cared about the characters. It was a fun horror/zombie genre flick and I’d definitely recommend it.

So that’s it for now. I’ve got some more in the queue to write up and I’ll post it as soon as I get the chance. Good night internetz.

1st up -Movies

• Green Lantern: It was okay. Not the greatest of movies but Ryan Reynolds is nice to look at. I wish that it had taken advantage of the whole green lantern core idea instead of it being Ryan Reynolds on his own. I think the CGI of the GL planet was awesome and the character of Sinestro was great. I wasn’t a huge fan of the post credit sequence. I think it would have been a better idea to use another movie to build this villain instead of revealing it at the end like this. Overall I wish it had a little less angsty Ryan Reynolds. It’s hard to watch a gorgeous guy who is an elite fighter pilot and is handed a super power mope around whining that life isn’t good enough.
• Super 8: Best Movie of the Year so far. I LOVED this film. It brought back all my nostalgia from films like the Goonies, E.T., and Close Encounters. Yes, it was built to be this way but I totally bought into it. The relationships between the kids were believable. The leaving in the morning and not coming home until dark. I remember that!! The creature wasn’t revealed too soon but when it was, it was well done. Brian thought that the train derailment was a bit much but I was okay with a bit of overdone action/shit blowing up. I enjoyed it. Absolutely recommend seeing this!

First, I’m worried about this person. They had worked here for a significant amount of time and I want to see them be happy and be able to care for their family.

Second, we’re a man down. In the summer. Prime vacation time and it means that we are just scrambling to keep up the bare minimum. We only had 5 people to begin and now we’re looking at some weeks where there are only two of us here. And if one of those two gets pulled in on call? Pandemonium.

I made some lists the on Wednesday of things I need to accomplish off the bench. Then I had an anxiety attack. Did some deep breathing and I think I have it under control now but I’m also trying to keep the rest of the lab in the right frame of mind. It made me realize that we are running too lean. I’m all for efficiency but I figure it’s going to take us about a year to recover. It’ll take some time to hire someone new and then in general it takes about 6-9 months to get said person up to speed and on call. In the meantime, I’ll be training this person so my actual time will shrink down even further.

To think a few weeks ago, I thought that things were looking up. Now I just want to make it through the next year here with as little hyperventilating and as few tears as possible. Wish me luck.

Which doesn’t make it any easier. I’m not sure how to deal with it. He does not react well to having things taken away. I don’t mean that we don’t do that but he works much better by earning rewards. You just get WAY better results by asking him to earn a birthday party rather than threatening to take it away. Whatever we’re doing needs to be presented so that he’s earning rather than losing.

And the problem? I guess is that I’m exhausted and I don’t know what things he has up to “earn”.  And I still don’t know what to do when he’s angry and throws himself on the floor instead of talking. I don’t know how to address the accidents so that I’m not making him embarrassed or ashamed of it, but still getting it to stop. We could go and talk to the pediatrician again but I’m pretty sure we’re just going to hear that we’re doing a good job, that he may indeed have aspergers, and that we need to wait longer for a diagnosis, that he’s challenging us and for goodness sake we were JUST there last month.

He’s a good kid. He’s smart and articulate and funny. But he drives me bonkers and I’m just having a hard week of it. I need to vent and I just wish I knew all the answers/

I’m trying to give him the ability to feel the way he feels. I don’t want him to have to cover it up and act happy but I want things to change so that he WILL be happy. I’m ready for him to find a new job, a new career, a new whatever. As long as it brings him back up from the depths.

It’ll turn. Soon I hope. He’ll move on or up or into a better place when the timing is right. I just want him to be happy. It makes me sad to watch him be so burnt out on life.

Jeffrey was completely weirded out by the flower petals. “Why did you kill the flowers!” “What happened to the flowers!!”  Elena began picking them up, singing “Clean up time, clean up time,everybody everywhere…”

So goes romance in the Meehan household.

She is an amazing little thing.
She’s starting to use the potty.
She’s starting to really describe the world to us.
She loves to have Mom and Dad “squish” her with hugs and kisses.
She carries her dolly around and gets mad when the legs won’t go into the stroller the way that Ellie wants them to.
She is amazed by her brother and will do Anything that he will do.
She loves daycare and all her friends there. Especially Penny and Hummy.
She tries on any and all shoes. Carries them around the house and clomps away in them.
She loves vegetables and fruit. Would eat nothing but apples and chippies (potato chips) if we let her.
She has a daring dangerous side. She looks back over her shoulder at you, smiles and then…takes off.
She loves our kitty.  She lays down next to him, hugs him and kisses his nose.
She’s just so bright and vivacious. She has tons of energy but still loves to snuggle up and read books or puzzles.

I thought that Jeffrey broadened and brightened our world, but I never foresaw how much further Elena would open it up.

I love you little two year old.

I can’t wait for all the adventures that await us.

I enjoy the CPSE meeting to discuss Jeffrey’s progress and see how encouraged his therapist is but I hate the evaluation. His eval is basically six pages of what is wrong with your kid. They are all things we already know but every time we get one done I want to cry. I feel myself telling the piece of paper all the things he CAN do and how awesome he is. I know it’s a necessary thing for them to do. He has to be evaluated to continue his services. I think I should just stop reading them and just talk to his therapist instead.

We’re going to try and start a sport of some type this summer. We’re looking into t-ball, swimming and horseback riding. Our PT was particularly excited about riding because it’s a rare case where he can’t cheat his brace. To ride he’ll have to put his heels down and stretch out his muscles. Plus he really has poor core strength and it will help that as well.

It’s weird to compare the kids. Elena can jump. She just did it. It was so odd to see how effortless it was for her and how difficult it still is for him. They’re different, I know that. I’m even glad of that. I still wish I could make it easier for him though.

This was a horror/thriller movie that Brian and I recently watched.  Yeah and spoilers for this movie, but not too many.

Plot summary: Three skiers are stranded on a chairlift and forced to make life-or-death choices that prove more perilous than staying put and freezing to death.

It’s actually a decent movie. I found it profoundly disturbing. I actually walked out 1/3 of the way through and Brian finished it. I was okay with the people being stuck on a chairlift. I started to lose it a little when there was some possible frostbite. I cringed when there were 2 tib-fib fractures and the dude was going to bleed to death. But then there were wolves. WOLVES people. I lost my mind. I actually started shaking. I got out a book, I tried to read instead but I could still Hear the movie. I had to leave. I went upstairs and tried to read my book and continued to freak out.

Now it’s been several Weeks and I am still weirded out  by this movie. I keep thinking about it and how incredibly disturbing I found it. I don’t find any of the scenarios presented terrifying, I think it was just the knowledge that whatever you do -you’re fucked. And it’s going to be a painful and awful death.

Those of you that know me, realize that I do not freak out (from movies) easily. Sure I get scared in the moment (easily) and I enjoy scary movies for the jolt. But I get over it, fairly quickly. There are a few things that tweak me a little but their stupid things like I am majorly afraid of people crawling on ceilings and when peoples mouths stretch into weird shapes. These are not likely things I will ever encounter in real life so I’m okay with them. I’m a huge fan of Japanese and South Korean filmmaking. I love action and interesting deaths and kung fu. I am not a typical woman. But this stupid freaking movie… I couldn’t handle it.